My name is Lindsay and I am 17 years old. My birthday is September 9th. I was always a pretty healthy child. I had a little baby fat when I was in elementary and I was very self-concious. I was a cheerleader and lived in a part of California where I was teased a lot, because I was a "white-girl." Then, my parents decided to move to Utah and I got into a rebellious self-hating stage and began a struggle with almost-anorexia and some emotional/mental issues in my 8-9th grade years of Jr. High. I was 5'5 and weighed about 130 lbs... I had a lot of muscle though because I barely ate and worked out excessively (I'm talking about P90X stuff here) and you know what they say... Muscle weighs more than fat. If you were to take my muscle mass off then I probably would have only weighed about 108 lbs. If I were to bend over, you could count my ribs, and my hips would protrude slightly. Though, a lot of my friends never noticed because they never saw me without my clothes on. I just remember being at an arcade and my ex-boyfriend who hadn't seen me in a long time looking at me and going... "Lindsay! You've gotten so skinny!! You look great!" I felt a sense of pride and kept with the downward spiral until about the middle of my 10th grade year. I realized how stupid I was being, not to mention I had a lot of school work and the excessive exercising was beginning to take it's toll. My boyfriend and I of 2 years (on and off) also finally split for good, though the depression from that didn't last long because I met my soul mate. I was barely fifteen by this time. With everything going on I began to stop working out as much and ate like a normal person, about 2,000 calories a day... when only a day ago I was consuming less than 500, and burning off two to three times that much. Well, need-less to say I gained more and more weight back as the months progressed, and by the middle of my 11th grade year, I weighed 165 lbs, the heaviest I've ever been. Then my soul-mate, eternal companion, and soon to be Elder, left on his mission to Alaska... Which left me half excited, but missing him and falling into a deep depression for about the first three months, where I gained another 5-8 lbs. By the end of that year and the start of my Senior year, I weighed about 174lbs and now, as of yesterday, weigh 179 lbs. The weight is accumulated mostly around my hips, butt and thighs, so not a lot of people assume that I weigh this much, and my missionary actually liks me a little bigger. He said he loved it when I weighed about 165lb. Well! Now I'm almost 20lbs over that. My mom even pulled me out of gymnastics and told me that until I was back down to 145 lbs, I wasn't going back. I know my missionary will love me no matter what. He tells me all the time... but... I'm not happy with myself. I don't love myself. And I think that's the most important thing, is to love yourself.
And thus, my Journey begins (:
Starting Weight: 179 lbs
Current Weight: 178 lbs
Goal Weight: 145 lbs, before Nelsen, my Missionary, comes home in March of 2012.
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